Friday, July 31, 2009

The Store Closes Before it Really Ever Opens

My heart breaks to admit that I have decided to close my Etsy store before it's even had its Grand Opening. All the Phat Fiber goodies that my Mom finished, all the samples sitting in a box in the hall, all the nekked's finished.

I have always envied the people who post updates on Twitter (what seems like every hour some days) about the stuff they just finished dyeing. These people obviously don't have jobs (outside of dyeing and selling their goods - which, admittedly, is a full time job), or young children. I see people Tweet that live on farms where they work their butts off to maintain their animals and sell what they grow, which makes me jealous...

Truth is, I love my life. I love my son...he is the sunshine in my day (even when he's losing his mind), and I love the fact that I have the luxury of working from home so I can watch him grow and don't have to drop him off at someone's house while I work away from the house.

But on days like yesterday, and they come more frequently as he gets older, when he needs my attention, my work gets put aside. Unfortunately, I still have deadlines and that means I work when he naps (which was a total of an hour yesterday) or in the evenings when his Dad gets home, or on weekends when most families spend time together. That leaves me time to dye at about 1130 at night...and when I finally get to bed and nod off, it seems, Quinn is wanting to get up for one reason or another.

Something's got to give.

My house is a mess...we are trying to sort out what we need to do to sell it. Painting is going to be a big thing, and I have no idea when that's going to take place. Lots of little, everyday things just don't get done (like dinner making) because I'm either having to entertain Quinn or I'm trying to get something done for work. Or, I'm just too damned tired.

Don has headed into busy season with work and he'll be gone away some, he's gone during the day for work and is away leading boxing 3 days a week for a few hours...and boxing season begins in a few short weeks (and it seems like it *just* ended - where did the summer go?) which means that Don will be gone most weekends because he has to get fights for our boxers.

Quinn is getting bigger by the day, and I don't want to look back and regret not spending as much time as possible with him before he gets to the stage where he would much rather just lock himself in his room and irritate me with his horrible choice in music. As he gets older, he'll have things he's involved in which is going to mean me shuffling my schedule, and if there's no leeway, there's no way it's going to happen.

Taking care of him, working from home, trying to run the household, and helping with the boxing club is plenty work for anyone. My priority is caring for Quinn and making sure I'm able to help pay the bills. If I can squeeze some time in there to spin for myself, I'm happy. There's just not enough time to add another job description, kwim?

So I need to say "when". I loved the idea of having a shoppe, and loved dyeing for the shoppe. I even loved listing and promoting for the shoppe and I'll be very sad to see it go, but I have the sense to realize that I'm just too busy and know that something's got to give.

Thanks for all the support you've given me, the encouragement, the advice...I really do appreciate it.

- Jacy

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